The Story of Nurul,Aishah,Cha2,AkaZukii

why can't life be much easier than this? no complications, no agonies, no worries...just pleasant....everyday, but we would not call that life now would we?

Monday, October 30, 2006


have you ever watched 'Moulin Rouge'-a film by Ewan Mcgregor and Nicole Kidman....about the forbidden love between the two..Satine (nicole kidman) and Ewan's character (i can't recall the name) i really love that movie..despite all critics...sure, it can be lame (hey it's a musical) and the scenes can appear hilarious and ludacris sometimes...but, the message underlying it all was what captured me interest towards it...yeap, everyone can guess it right-the most talked about, global message of all >> L.O.V.E=LOVE!! <<

call me a softy or anything, but never be in denial of how we; humans need love in our life.of course as Muslim, we need to seek our Almighty Allah's love to us and also to love our Rasul but in general we are desperate for love.. it doesn't matter whether it's from your family, love from your friends, collegue, doesn't matter if your gays/lesbian...everyone needs it...everyone seeks for it...the elusive feeling of love is hard to find, and when one is found; it's even harder to contain..for love is alive...ever changing...needs revampment every now and then. and the lack of it, makes us restless, sad, depressed, or even lose our minds....

in the movie; the unforgettable quote spoken out by Ewan Mcgregor's character, still echo in my mind....."the greatest love one can have, is to love and be loved in return.." for this saying is sooo's always easy to love someone..but to gain that mutual feelings is often difficult and frustrating if it can't be achieved...thus, it spelled the inevitable=HEARTBREAKS. and once the heart is broken, it's very hard to's amazing how love can drive us crazy....really. perhaps, you might think i'm pouring out like this because of some failed relationships i'm having or something close to that, but really it isn't just that. don't restrict your mind to just thinking of love is about a relationship with the opposite sex.. because it is more than that...

how can you ever be sure that someone you once love or wants to be love will always keep that feelings alive and burning for you? perhaps pouring out the infamous saying of "...till death do us part.." prolly it will work....but do keep in mind, that promises aren't always kept and how does one gets a reassurance of the neverending love???? my answer will be NEVER! heck, even the love between mother and child one can never be sure about it of being ever lasting....thus what more can u expect from loving out to someone you barely know and of which you intend to be your lifetime partner?? it's obvious- NEVER.

well in the case of relationship between the opposite sex, nurturing the feelings of love is normal and the highlights of your relationship should ideally be-matrimony! and in Islam, marriage is the ultimate and sacred bonding of the two sexes. but even that can't guarantee you of an everlasting love and courtship...and that is why we hear people divorce after 2-3 years of blissful marriage. heck, i know this for fact, 2 of my siblings have failed marriages before for crying out loud.thus, i know a little much about the hardships of marriage, being divorced (both as man and woman- for often people perceived being a divorced woman is even harder to cope than a divorced man) with all this unhealthy examples of marriage surrounding me, i'll be lying if it doesn't scares me...but then again, my parents is a good, nearest example to me, that marriage is more than just being affectionate to one another. marriage (and any relationship for that matter) need compromising in all aspects with your partner..and above all understanding, respect and trust. without any of these, it can never work out.

look at this i was browsing through my daily news inputs, i can't help but to think these two creatures of Allah. the saying of till death do us part creepily stood by them both. and prove to be the reason they are apart and can't be with each other anymore.....

these two lovebirds, were just offically and happily engaged just 28 hours before both of them tragically died of road accident. The bride to be was- Ms. Emma Khalijah Basri, 21, and the groom to be was Mr.Anas Nasron, 27, both were instantly killed after the motorcyle they rode on collided with another motorcycle, and right after impact, they were both thrown off helplessly on the road when a car came and crushed them down for an instant death. Al-Fatihah to them both.

as for me, I sure hope like zillion others, to be have that greatest love of that to love Allah and be loved by Him and along that, have a peace of mind and be able to have a blessed marriage with someone that love me wholeheartedly, understands truly what marriage is all about (which is not just being intimate! ), I pray that Allah give me a compromising,loving,taqwa,pious husband to guide me through this very demanding life as Allah kalifah...

Sunday, October 22, 2006


minna-sama, eid mubarak...less than 48 hours to go and muslim in malaysia will welcomes the month of syawal in our lives, and say sayonara to ramadhan...

well, if my previous post was all teary and sad, this one perhaps have a lil cheery mood to it (but not to say that i am over my last entry..the feeling is still there...just wait till i hear "takbir raya"...and definitely, i'll cry like crazy..anyways, i did some shopping today for eid, in KL. fortunately, thanks to dearest wan, i got RM300 last gave some to mama, i promised meself i'll get something nice for me this raya....(i usually don't like to spend on eid, as i usually don't have the oppurtunity to do so...i haven't been earning me money so what can i whatever my sisters/mama bought that will have to do....) and today shopping spree was special as i get to go and hang out with dearest hanis and her sis as well...of whom i haven't met for quite it's really special, bcos hanis is...

so although delayed like for 3 hours from schedule,hanis came at last in her BRAND NEW MYVI CAR!!! how sleeekkkkk are so got to buy yourself new car..hanis, of whom i have known since my diploma years in UiTM is one of my closest a matter of fact, it is only her that can make me blues go away...bcos she's so kind and cheerful like always..and everytime i am with her, i'll let me guards down n be all crazy and HAVE FUN! we would crack jokes...laugh at silly things..behave silly etc.

anyways, hanis was too kind today and she treated me thank you HANIS for the lovely secret recipe's tomyam and auntie's anne speshly.....anyways, after breaking fast, we were right on to shopping.....all wired up as the tummies have been filled up. in the end of the night, hanis bought like 3 baju kurongs + 2 tudungs (all of greatttt bargains and cheap...she really know how to find and pick right things) her sis bought 2 baju kurongs + 2 tudungs and i bought like very cheap tudungs and one expensive baju kurong ( of which i actually don't intend to buy..but somehow succumb to the seduction of so-called sales and bargains! and i am regretting it shouldn't be that way)

anyways, hanis is earning a very attractive salary for a fresh graduates, the highest so far among me friends....and i envy her so much for that (not that she doesn't deserve it, she does of course..i envy her in a good way) ...but her major is in PR.....and thus she can easily go to any company ..but i?? no way...not too easy...i don't think i will ever get that kind of salary if i work in anyyyy of the local tv stations like i mentioned in my previous entry...nooo wayyyy! about in my previous entries, i wrote about me worries not be able to find work like fast and right after i graduate, thus , like around last week i asked around for help from me working in particular missy haza, and boy am i glad to hear that she said she can give a helping hand passing me resume to someone at someplace...and i did not procrastinate (of something i don't usually do :p ) i constructed out the peeerfect resume, wrote me cover letter and photocopied all certificates/ documents i hve for submission of a prospectful interview...

and i rushed to meet haza last tuesday, passed it to her....and like the next day, got a call from ch-9, for an interview on thursday for some positions in news dept. alhamdulillah...eventhough it was just an interview, i was glad...had i not give that resume like in time the way i did, perhaps i would not have recieved the call. so, i came on thurs and very much determine to do my best although i do not put any high hopes for it. (i usually don't expect too much/ hoped too high as i don't want to hurt and feel terribly disappointed if i don't make it) came at precise 9.30Am and found no other recogniseable faces ( some of me classmates/ uitm friends all know very well of the vacancy in ch-9 and they have submitted their resume long before i do via their respective ex-training supervisors) thus i was hoping to see some familiar faces but found none...until AINA MOKHTAR came in the room....she was surprised to see me but that wasn't the case for me (as i have expected somehow to find some familiar faces...)

later, after filling in some papers, we candidates had to sat for a general knowledge exams. somehow i have expected that the questions was going to be around local politics and writing out news script ( just the way wan told me) i mean it is just natural to ask us these kind of questions as we were all going to be screen for journalist post at the channel. thus, we..future journalists need to know those things....but somehow, i can't remember the names in the questions although i have stayed up late the day before learning em...hehe perhaps it was the nervousness that killed the memory cells...anyways, i can never forgive myself to answer wrongly the capital city of pakistan!!!!! stupid me, i put LAHORE!

so with lousy and very messy answer's sheet submitted, i was expecting the worse is yet to come...right after the 'exams' we we called in one after another for the interview session..after waiting about 2 hours, came in my turn. i went in the room, answered all questions, being myself, trying me best to relax and appear calm...until, the interviewee asked me one question that soon drag me confidence further down the hole....

interviewee: "mm so tell me, who is Tan Sri Musa Hassan??"
me: (totally caught off-guard) **shriekkking inside** wtf??? i paused for a few seconds but it seemed like hours..., "erkk...emmm...i...i...mmm...who?..ii...mmm...sorry, i...i...can't..can't recall ummm...i don't know....BUT, Tan Sri Musa Hitam i know-lah.." (that was it..i'm dooommed)
interviewee: "what?? musa hitam nak buat apa?? " and he laughed at me answer (at least a good laughed not sarcastically..i was glad...a lil at least :p )
interviewee: "ok..i'll give some clue.."
me: (thank god!)
interviewee: "before him, was Tan Sri Bakri....."
me: **hopelessly+ swearing like crazy inside f*ck f*ck f*ck**... ", doesn't ring a bell" (at this point i was sure i am done for the interview...)
interviewee: "ish, macam mana nak jadi wartawan ni...okay..before him,was..Tan Sri Norian.."
me:*quickly cut him off* "I KNOWWWWWWWW!!!!" *a sense of relief wrapped me*"
interviewee: "siapa dia?"
me: "ketua polis negara!!!" * quickly the song "we are champions" playing in my mind...i made it...i saved the embarrasment...although on third try! *
interviewee: "nasib baik betul.." *and he smiled and so were the other two interviewees*

gosh, that was the highlights of my embarassing interview moments...shits! i failed i thought to myself...later, i was still bombarded with questions and opinion related questions, my turn was done. after thanking them and wishing em all eid mubarak, i left the room with shattering feeling inside..gosh,i made a fool of myself i thought..and i left the place and went straight to shah alam for a class of which i was already running 1 hour late!....but to my disappointment, when i reached my uni, the class was ended early, and i went to meet my classmate instead....wishing em eid mubarak, i went straight home, with the embarassing interview moments keep flashing and playing in my a DVD movie on loop mode, it accompanied me 20 mins ride home.....and i can't shake it off me mind.

as soon as i reached home, chuck me bags away and went straight to kitchen to prepare for dinner, helping me mom cook, finally that "DVD embarassing interview movie" was stopped for awhile all through the night..until i receieved a sms, saying i am SHORTLISTED and they wanted me back for a second interview the next day! boy oh boy...suddenly, all feelings reversed, but was more nervous than before, as for tomorrow i am required to do a 'stand-upper' session...knowing well of impromtu 'stand-upper' thingy..and how much i am capable with it...i shivered...and ended up worrying way through the nite..i slept only for 2 hours and off for a second interview.

well...enuff said, from 9/10 candidates like on the 1st day of the interview, i was one of the 3 people that got shortlisted and only two will be hired. now, sincerely i do not know what my chances are...because the other two i guess is equally competetive; the other gal is very attractive looking with great experiences (lim kok wing grad somemore...) and the only guy is equally strong candidate with great experiences..(UPM grads). i am feeling a lil bit insecure and inferior now compared with those two ppl..but i believe, that all it's written by Allah...for He knows all and He knows what is best for us..thus, if i am fit for the job, i will get it..if it's my rezeki it won't get away..but vice versa if it's not. and if it's not, there will always be other jobs or other try-outs insyaAllah...for all will be revealed right after raya break...the truth awaits...:-)

Tuesday, October 10, 2006


in about two weeks, muslim will celebrate eid just less than a month, i will graduate i happy for that?in a way, yeah..for no more will i have to drag my fatty arse to school every mornin'....but on the other hand, i am soo scared. petrified actually have to face the harsh reality of life as an adult..yikes! am i really ready for this? i am not too sure....i guess i am not. by next year, i should be working to earn my stand on my own two chubby feet..and this is one of the things that scares me off...

thinking about this, i can't help but to envy some of my lucky classmates that have gotten themselves job even before they are officially off as a student of UiTM.darn it! aren't they lucky or what eh....just to name a few; lucky lad ajib, hot dj to be suraya, another aspiring dj to be- hani salwah, heck even ms melatah but still would charm you with her sexxxy figure-norbee. has secured a place in the real world..and they are not gonna be any employee....but a very grand and glitz employee too...and this is just some of the peeps i know of that cared to share the news around..but i guess there are some who likes to keep the good news to themselves...don't want to be labelled as "kecohpecoh" ppl ...but really, if you guys have successfully land a job, why the secret? let it out..i mean dont have to brag about's just that if someone asks, do say yes and spill the beans..i don't find that as offensive at all...i mean...the listeners should take it in a positive way...yeah, be jealous of it...there's no guilt in that..tis oh-so normal to have a lil bit of jealousy..but make it a constructive jealousy...if there's anything like that. i mean, i am taking it that way... tho it does eat me up to hear this fabulous news of me peeps having a job already..but in a way, it makes me realize that time is moving fast, soon i'll graduated and i need to do something quick and find meself something quick..tak mahu aku digelar "penganggur siswazah terhormat"..God forbids..amin.

i don't want to sound too paranoid..but i guess for some of the ppl i know of, it does irks me on what basis really that they managed to "manipulate" their future employee to offer them a place...and these ppl aren't really doing well in their studies..some even scored less than 3.00 for their CGPA and still they can have a fab job..and it irks me more, that the reason is just purely on their PR in the end, what your score is doesn't really guarantees you a job in the future so why fuss too much about scoring it? one good friend of mine, graduated with more than 3.5 CGPA..but he still doesn't have any job..luckily for him, he has a wealthy dad who owns a company thus, that can be his last resort...but me?i don't have a wealthy family...nor do i have a soaring CGPA like him....and even worst, i suxx with establishing good rapport..lack in PR skils....which is a bad trait if i want to be a what hope is left for me really?? i am belittling myself..but i can't help it...i am so worried..i'm just a mediocre...where on earth can that put me in the future??

Monday, October 02, 2006


wow...a full 2-weeks of pc breakdown! i was devastated..i felt like half of my life has been taken away from me..shattered always kill me really whenever my pc's disfunctioning..BUT never in my life have i ever felt really dependent with my pc as there were too much works..uni assignmets to be done...for once, i felt lifeless!

and i had no way out for this...datelines were coming in my life..and fast. and i always hate the idea to do my school work at any paid-cyber doubt i will have to pay more than RM5, excluding the printing costs...all of which i could have done it at the comfort of my own room..for free..but then again it's really about comfort.. i mean working in a public place is never comforting to exert all those brialliant ideas out..not for me at least! i can't have my favourite self-made tumbler size nescafe,i can't sit with both legs on the chair-crossed out, i can't played my favourite MUSE soothing tunes to accompany me burning those midnite oil out..heck i can't be half naked even..(yeap, malaysia is really getting hotter these days, even it's in the mid of the nite) and me room do not have the lavish extravagant comforting air-conditioned system.

so what were my last resort was?? went to my older sis's house of course! of course her pc was all smooth and nice...since my bro in law is and expert of pc n electronical stuffs...and she's a happily married woman with 2 adoring daughters, so why would she installed any chatting gadgets in her pc? the answer was obvious....oh wait, a pc in my dire needs for now is only for academic other diversions of any sort is allowed...rite! so scrapped that entertainment out, i am left with all very wonderful -very fast working microsoft pc and ready to cooked me brains out for academia..ah rite again!

but eventually, all good intention prevails..and i did finish my work in time..but not time left for me to sleep as i worked through all the nite and gotten sleepy in the morning...the price to pay? SKIPPED THE MORNING CLASS of course! just brialliant...well i can't help class starts at 830 am and from my sis's house which is in puchong..quite far from uitm and have to go through a heavily congested traffics to get there during the rush what were my actions?? continue sleeping till 11 am and get me fat arse ready for the 2pm's lecture..well done me!

all in all...although i busted 2 very important class on the fateful day last 20th of september; i am awfully proud of my was nicely done layout powerpoint do, and an additional effort of video presentation on my given topic for i pat meself on the back for this despite everythinggggg...yosh aishah san!!!!!!!!!!!

here's the url link to the video i made tho' it's very amateurish..i am darn happy with it! i took me only 1 hours to compile it and another 3 hours to have it transferred to a cd and mpeg mode (because of the pc of course) but i nver saw any..anyyyyyy....of me classmates did anything even close to this...some of the girls who've watched it even shed a self braggin me...kudos! muahahahaha...

have a pleasant viewing of "EHIME MARU"