The Story of Nurul,Aishah,Cha2,AkaZukii

why can't life be much easier than this? no complications, no agonies, no worries...just pleasant....everyday, but we would not call that life now would we?

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

minna sama...happy MAULIDUR RASUL sallallah 'alahi wassalam! today's the birthday of the great Prophet Muhammad SAW.

what good deeds have i done today? unfortunately not much i guess...except spending quality time with me mom which made me feel really good. gosh, i never knew i really love my mother that much until now...when she's sick and needed attention and care, i feel deep love for her. i kept thinking about her...wishing her to be well like she used to be...missing her naggin me...missing her cookings..missing her jollyself...and when i think about these things...i can't stop thinking about the inevitable lost that all of us will eventually have to face in our lives...death..for that is certain."kullun nafsin za ikatul maut"...loosely translated as " every living things will eventually die"

i kept thinking about that...and i can't imagine how my life will be...too much sorrow...too agonizing to bear...and with the current situation in my family, my mother is the reason why i am still having a place to stay..she's the soul that every single person that's living in this forsaken house depending upon..and if she's taken away, how am i supposed to live my life then??how unfair life is treating me now...i feel 'betrayed'...i'm so afraid that i will soon lost faith in life...where did all the good deeds that my parents and i have done to be awarded in this life?? why are we keep having obstacles after obstacles..making this short life seems even shorter...why do i feel i slowly suffocating when all that is around me is miles of space? i'm getting tired...gettin tired believing that we will all be awarded if we are righteous enough..gosh, don't so i sound soo depressed?? sometimes when i drive back home late from work, flooring the pedestal and smashing the car to the road's divider seems like a good idea. END IT ALL NOW i more agonies, no more worries, no more nightmares, no more headaches, no more more more pain...when do all of this misery ends?????? when???when???itsuka??

Sunday, April 09, 2006

Another boring day!

Today will be the 1st day of my ending week in hellish "san-no-terebi" (^_^) and at precisely 2000 hours, me final involvement in Bersamamu program will meet its end. in the 4th season (each season has 13 episodes) Bersamamu desperately tries to reinvent itself by conducting a special live-telecast once every 2 weeks. and today, it's the first live show filling in the 3rd episode slot.

Actually, i'm enjoying me final week here. it's not that i do not enjoy the work (well, frankly, i don't really fancy production work such as this, as it requires you to work for a tiring 2-4 days of filming, surrounded by bunch of heavy smokers, inflicting your lungs with carbon monoxide!! and plus, i'm not much of a traveller..not that i don't enjoy travellin' i just don't know how to pack lightly thus i'll end up bringing too many bags for a short trip and be laughed at for that matter) with all that said, i'm counting me days gladly for my hellish time to end here in this forsaken place.

sorry dear diary, if my words came out too harsh. not that i'm not being grateful for all the wonderful experiences i had and still having, but as i written many times's the people that's involved in the production that influenced me feelings...largely because of their inhospitalities and unprofessionalisme with us-trainees! well at least not all of 'em. those who works smart, kudos to them! perhaps, i'm being too emotional with this. BUT maybe i am who's to know??

TV life. where they make wonders. where ordianary people could easily earned instance fame! heck, talking about instance fame. i, myself had that slight taste of what fame could bring to you( and mind you, that was from a few 10 seconds cameo :p ) enough to make the program bonkers recognised me LOL! anyways, reality check now. production work like Bersamamu and the likes, it's not my cup of tea. THE ONLY THING i love about the program is, it shows the harsh facts of life and as a reminder to me personally, that life isn't that pretty. that i'm lucky in every sense compared with those less-fortunate families. thankful for that.

by next week, i will offically be stripped off as tv3's intern. gone will it be the sleepless hours, burnin' the midnite oil drama, me mom's sulkin over me not spending more time with her and it goes the same too with me ai-chan-redz1. along with this 4 months, i had finally tasted of how tiring the infamous tv3's 'jomheboh' carnival or previously known as 'sureheboh' carnival. although it has been around the local scene for more than 2 years, i had never went to any of those carnivals. i don't need a 35 degrees hot blazing sun burnin' off my already 'tanned' skin. BUT when the first carnival this year opened in jitra, kedah..i was dying to go....simply because i was hoping to get that exclusive carnival shirts..

this picture was taken recently at jomheboh carnival. seen here with me, is ms nanu baharuddin; one of the guest hosts of bersamamu program. she's also one of the leading local actress in both drama, films,theatre, model and the list goes on. having said all that, frankly i'm not much of her fan BUT i do respect her curvious and slim body! who knows she's a mom with kid(s) #i'm not sure how many kids she has :p #

BUT it was just another dimension of hell on was so HOTTTT! no amount of sunblock could 'block' that killin' malaysian UV rays i tell ya. and to confirmed this, i already have a 'zebra' like hand for cryin'out loud! all thanks to too much midday sun. i'm no longer 'olivesh skin', i'm extravagantly tanned and that includes me chubby face too!** shriek** oh well drama drama drama...enuff's already 2 am now..need to get some sleep. in less than 7 hours from now, i have to face another BORING and NAUSEATING day at MDF tv3.all thanks to ancient ms 'sirinang subi'and the likes of her. true what people say, working with female boss is worse than with a male you agree with this? too many catfights, too many emotional driven abusive of power, too many DRAMA! owh well phuck they all i's like that. counting me days to be gone from there.

Saturday, April 08, 2006

New Look!

i've changed the look of me blogsite..nothing grand fact it's pretty lame...heck, i took it from blogger's template..worse than more videos streaming on my more fake attempts of making me blog look like a blog-wizard; high-tech equiped gal etc. truth is, i'm a DUMBO at HTML! i can't insert a proper archieving system in me previous blogsite (R.I.P :p )thus, i made a lame decision to ripped it all off...and on with a normal decent limey template (^_^)
p/s: wanted to go for all-pinky look..but figured, i'm not that GIRLISH! green more the color of islam. green world!