The Story of Nurul,Aishah,Cha2,AkaZukii

why can't life be much easier than this? no complications, no agonies, no worries...just pleasant....everyday, but we would not call that life now would we?

Monday, March 13, 2006

salaams

THE END IS COMING

No! not armageddon end thankfully..at least not yet..hopefully...just me life as a trainee end...people say; you won't miss something/ someone until you lose 'em...so to speak with me internship period that will soon meet its end...

what have i learned since i got me arse here in tv3? those brief 4 months have taught me a few things about friendship, deep-mutual relationships, family ties, collegue cat-fights, the backstabs, the trick of the trade; "kipas-susah-mati-to your boss", the scandals, managing your time wisely, enduring bullshits like pressure of your peers getting more than you are and many more......in a nutshell, i learned of what more ugly truth to come in me life= simply the LIFE itself!!

old meets new friendships
these 4 months i have made few new friends, lost few old friends....not exactly lost those 'ol pals of mine, i just have come into few contacts with 'em....simply because most of them have graduated and living their own life.....i also finally have come into the personal circle of me new classmates of whom most of 'em are sharing the same tranining place as i. eversince the traumatic and tragically painful yet fulfilling 7 months that i spent in japan, making new friends is not my cup of tea...i can't seem to vanguish the memories i had with the old pals, the old environments , the old me....i can't seem to let go of my past...i kept holding it on....without realising that doing so only inflict more pain than i can ever endure...thus, one thing i learned through this experience of maturity; i have finally let me past go behind me and try to start a new chapter in life.but having said that, no matter how hard i try to do it....i can't never find nor replace me old pals....these new girlfriends that i'm having, is nothing compare with those with me ancient friends...but i guess i have to make do with what i have...my diploma mates like noor hanis harun, nur haza hamdan,norhafidzah safri,mohd idir narwahi,mohd fakhruddin,norlizawati yaakob,mohd safuan ramly,rohani hamdan, sue aryani,muhamad albar and a few more including my ancient friends from UIA history; lyzacheerie, falah, diana....not forgetting the ever'chipsmore' hayah, smarty pants sufi, fariza, nik, old pals from sri aman and kampung tunku.....though i am far apart and keep drifting away from them in mua life, they will always be close to me heart...

family ties
as if my family and i aren't getting enough misery in life, the opening of 2006 will never be forgotten....at precisely 22 of december 2005 my beloved mother got a stroke and after been hospitalised for almost 2 months in HKL, she left with defects affecting her whole right side body...between tears and my hectic life as a student, employee and daughter...this is by far the hardest time i have to endure in my pathetic life...i'm not trying to say that i'm such an obedient and kind daughter, but being the only daughter in the house , i had no choice but to help out wherever and whenever i could...(most of me sisters are married with me youngest sis in johor studying; and don't even get me started on me 2 elder brothers..; one of which is having an awesome income but selfish and couldn't care less with us, while the other brother is just plain selfish, lazy and full with excuses...) and top of it all, my family is also having critical financial problems...more and more problems...problems that seems to keep on coming...like meteor balls...showering us; each with its explosive and destructive power...leaving us no palce to run nor hide...that's how pathetic my life is...and yet i had to keep on smiling, hiding it all underneath me vulnerable shell...i am not sure how much longer i can hold on....

the politics, bullshits drama & backstabbing in office, school or just me life
scandals , politics, drama and backstabbers are for the faint-hearted i'd say...when i first embarked on this 4 months journey as an intern, i never knew things could be so rough, filled with bullshits, politics, bacstabbing and just pure filthy...everyone with "PhD"..no, not PhD as in doctor in philosophy more like PhD as in Perasaan hasad Dengki...as the malay term implies..never have i imagined things could be so dramatic in working life...and how i hate this...internship period is indeed the time to re-evaluate your choices to be in the working world. one more thing that i learned in tv3....it's not the matter of how good you do your work, it's how good you manipulate your work...it's also how good you kiss the arse of those with power...it is also how good your PR skills are; no..not to people at large but just with a few people that you may find beneficial to you. so, no matter how good you do your job, how great your scripts are compared with others...IT ALL DOES NOT PHUCKING MATTER if you don't do what've been written above!!!!!

so, with all things said and done, i don't really know whether i'm fit to work with the environment like this...and again, whatever i've written it's just a matter of opinion sprung from my own experiences and misery............THE END (^_^)


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