The Story of Nurul,Aishah,Cha2,AkaZukii

why can't life be much easier than this? no complications, no agonies, no worries...just pleasant....everyday, but we would not call that life now would we?

Monday, March 13, 2006



No! not armageddon end least not yet..hopefully...just me life as a trainee end...people say; you won't miss something/ someone until you lose ' to speak with me internship period that will soon meet its end...

what have i learned since i got me arse here in tv3? those brief 4 months have taught me a few things about friendship, deep-mutual relationships, family ties, collegue cat-fights, the backstabs, the trick of the trade; "kipas-susah-mati-to your boss", the scandals, managing your time wisely, enduring bullshits like pressure of your peers getting more than you are and many a nutshell, i learned of what more ugly truth to come in me life= simply the LIFE itself!!

old meets new friendships
these 4 months i have made few new friends, lost few old friends....not exactly lost those 'ol pals of mine, i just have come into few contacts with 'em....simply because most of them have graduated and living their own life.....i also finally have come into the personal circle of me new classmates of whom most of 'em are sharing the same tranining place as i. eversince the traumatic and tragically painful yet fulfilling 7 months that i spent in japan, making new friends is not my cup of tea...i can't seem to vanguish the memories i had with the old pals, the old environments , the old me....i can't seem to let go of my past...i kept holding it on....without realising that doing so only inflict more pain than i can ever endure...thus, one thing i learned through this experience of maturity; i have finally let me past go behind me and try to start a new chapter in life.but having said that, no matter how hard i try to do it....i can't never find nor replace me old pals....these new girlfriends that i'm having, is nothing compare with those with me ancient friends...but i guess i have to make do with what i diploma mates like noor hanis harun, nur haza hamdan,norhafidzah safri,mohd idir narwahi,mohd fakhruddin,norlizawati yaakob,mohd safuan ramly,rohani hamdan, sue aryani,muhamad albar and a few more including my ancient friends from UIA history; lyzacheerie, falah, diana....not forgetting the ever'chipsmore' hayah, smarty pants sufi, fariza, nik, old pals from sri aman and kampung tunku.....though i am far apart and keep drifting away from them in mua life, they will always be close to me heart...

family ties
as if my family and i aren't getting enough misery in life, the opening of 2006 will never be precisely 22 of december 2005 my beloved mother got a stroke and after been hospitalised for almost 2 months in HKL, she left with defects affecting her whole right side body...between tears and my hectic life as a student, employee and daughter...this is by far the hardest time i have to endure in my pathetic life...i'm not trying to say that i'm such an obedient and kind daughter, but being the only daughter in the house , i had no choice but to help out wherever and whenever i could...(most of me sisters are married with me youngest sis in johor studying; and don't even get me started on me 2 elder brothers..; one of which is having an awesome income but selfish and couldn't care less with us, while the other brother is just plain selfish, lazy and full with excuses...) and top of it all, my family is also having critical financial problems...more and more problems...problems that seems to keep on meteor balls...showering us; each with its explosive and destructive power...leaving us no palce to run nor hide...that's how pathetic my life is...and yet i had to keep on smiling, hiding it all underneath me vulnerable shell...i am not sure how much longer i can hold on....

the politics, bullshits drama & backstabbing in office, school or just me life
scandals , politics, drama and backstabbers are for the faint-hearted i'd say...when i first embarked on this 4 months journey as an intern, i never knew things could be so rough, filled with bullshits, politics, bacstabbing and just pure filthy...everyone with "PhD", not PhD as in doctor in philosophy more like PhD as in Perasaan hasad the malay term implies..never have i imagined things could be so dramatic in working life...and how i hate this...internship period is indeed the time to re-evaluate your choices to be in the working world. one more thing that i learned in's not the matter of how good you do your work, it's how good you manipulate your's also how good you kiss the arse of those with is also how good your PR skills are; no..not to people at large but just with a few people that you may find beneficial to you. so, no matter how good you do your job, how great your scripts are compared with others...IT ALL DOES NOT PHUCKING MATTER if you don't do what've been written above!!!!!

so, with all things said and done, i don't really know whether i'm fit to work with the environment like this...and again, whatever i've written it's just a matter of opinion sprung from my own experiences and misery............THE END (^_^)

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

dear diary...
just got back from work....finally, after a tiring week of negotiating, planning, braindead, scheduling, re-scheduling, cancelling documents, faxing documents, absorbing ya superior's rage, talked about that rage and drama behind their backs among ya peers...imbalanced diet, lack of sleep and rest, all things sacrificed for just a one night GALA EPISODE of BERSAMAMU....and that is washed and done today! so cheers for that!! (^-^)

bersamamu for the first time held it's grand finale episode live telecast from the official residence of our deputy prime minister. was it grand enough? on my personal note, can't say that much, as i had never involved in any live-production works mind you...but i guess, as an audience on tv, it was quite low in quality. and i don't blame the crew.everything that surrounds it somehow or another suck at one point.

in a production that involved quite a handful of crew, it was quite tricky for anybody to handle it professonally. this live-telecast, used 7 MCP cameras..all placed strategically within the area that concerned us the production crew.7 cameras could be considered a grande event.but the results of the crew ineffieciencies made it look bad and visuals screwed up.i was in-charged to so-called "direct" my scp cameraman *scp is the abbreviation for single-camera-production which implies, the production uses only one camera*

of course having had a few experiences of cheap publicity of inter-framing myself with the tx visual, i tried to do the same during the one and a half production...heck, i couldn't do it every chance i got, cos i don't really got the time to just mingle around, and tried to stand in the way of the i was busy directing the scp cameraman-'ustaz'. plus it was really hectic and chaotic, crew running up here and there...with sadly, no drinks nor food to digest...**hell it was really tiring, and ,poor management from i don't know who to blame for this incident**

and then the 'big' thing happened, of which i think had taken the interest of everyone in fellow trainee ms norbeee or better known as bee, was one of the 3 trainees that were supposed to escort datin seri to indicate which is the respondent in order for her to give away donations...of which during that time, she had accidentally knock datin's head * bee, was having her left hand out in the open, pointing here and there to show datin which is which..and being taller than datin, she knocked her head with that hand of hers.*

poor bee, that incident had earned her instance fame, and became the hottest issue of the aftermath. to me, having previewed it again, i could clearly see that it wasn't her fault, she already had her hands open when what could easily be illustrated like playing london bridge is falling down- datin walked right under it and accidentally her big hair got a slight knocked from bee's, according to her, she suffered the humialiation...but i personally think it was quite a show, that made her famous now amongst us. tis good publicity me think at least, now she will never be easily forgotten :-)

Friday, March 03, 2006

life's between my arse!

current situation:: mentally distressed, physically worned out and socially incapable.

current mood:: bore to death.

counting me days for this bloody internship to end. supposedly, most of my seniors told me that this is the time for me to enjoy life. but for me really...i havent been enjoying that much. what is there to enjoy?? nada! my two months at this forsaken tv station is almost up..and another 2 months to go ( more or less) having gone through 2 freaking chaotic months has made me realise and re-evaluate my choices in life after graduation. am i really fit for this broadcasting line? i dont really fascinates me..,i know i've heard that working in this kinda line, really stress out...and u need to cope with pressure...deadlines to meet...having gone through sleepless nights finishing up school projects since diploma hasn't really taught me much, when i thought i've learned so much...such a fool i was to believe that..

effects:: eyebags and dark circle under the eyes...and not forgetting terrible headaches..unstable moodswings, serious acne problemo, and too much fat! internship time sure as hell a package! now i got all that is mentioned above! of which i hate it so much..i'm beginning to have second thoughts on my seriousness to work for this kinda job..working under it really for me?? can i really handle it?? gosh, perhaps u folks out there think i'm such a whoosy...and whiney girly bitch..the truth is I AM NOT! it is really tiring...and starting to worn me out...the only plus point i think is that i got to meet all kind of people..once in awhile have a small taste of glamz life...making "inter-frames" on TV/program...befriending the so-called "right-people", ut for all those thing mentioned above, u gotta give ya precious time in return....working looonnnng hours....and late...can i ever endure all this for at least another 2 months????and on top of that, jugling me time trying to finish my academic writing???